is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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