random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
