I accidentally burped into my bong.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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