my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have aggressive nipples.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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