Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i now understand why vodka
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize