I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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