It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
