I feel like I'm in dance class right now
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
