Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
