I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
