My nipple is on Facebook.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
