The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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