Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
