I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
