Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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