I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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