we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize