She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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