Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
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Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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