Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
