At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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