thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They took my balls.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
