yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize