doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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