I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I lost the right to judge tonight
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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