and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
