Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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