i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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