I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
