Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
