FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
