Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
