dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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