..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
