he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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