guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
