I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
