I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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