Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
