It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
