I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
