he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
