sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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