I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
well you can't waste a boner
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
