I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
