Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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