the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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