I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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