It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
