I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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