So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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