"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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