what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
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Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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