She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
