just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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