You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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